T-REX RANTZ: VOLUME 9

Good news! I’m back and I’m angry. Well, actually, I’m just annoyed. It seems like I’m much less easily annoyed than I used to be when I started this blog, which is either a sign of increased maturity or an indication that I drink too much wine. Realistically, both are probably true. Without any further adieu, here is a list of things that have been making me crazy lately (or, for the 4 other fans in the world of the obscure reality tv show Arranged, a list of things that have been nervousing me):

People who walk or run on the wrong side of the street and then glare at you like you’re the problem when you pass each other: I recognize that this is probably the ultimate suburb life problem, but seriously…what is the deal? Is it not common knowledge that you walk or run against the flow of traffic? I mostly run in my neighborhood and in some of the other neighborhoods nearby, and while the majority of people are on the correct side of the road, there are always a few who are on the wrong side of the road. And of those people, there are a few who glare at me when I pass them while walking or running (going in the opposite direction) as if to say “Why are you on the wrong side of the road, idiot?” But that is exactly what I am secretly saying to them, too. Except they actually are on the wrong side of the road. Literally, this bothers me so much that I started doubting myself and actually looked up the information to make sure I am on the correct side of the road. Spoiler alert: I am. So all my neighbors can quit glaring at me now.

When you unsubscribe from an email list and they send you an email confirming that you don’t want any more emails: We are now midway through 2016, which means everyone knows that the fastest way to get a discount code for an online order is generally to sign up for the mailing list of whatever random website you’re purchasing from (assuming a quick Google search yields no results). As someone who is obsessed with getting the best possible deal on things, I do this all the time. Inevitably, the company is unable to show any self-restraint and ends up spamming me with promotional emails every day, instead of the more acceptable once a week. Anyway, there always comes a day when they have sent me just one too many emails and I am forced to unsubscribe from the mailing list. Most companies let this go relatively peacefully, but some insist on sending a “confirmation” email making sure I know that I don’t want to receive anymore emails. OK, so literally, I just told you I NEVER WANT TO SEE AN EMAIL FROM YOU AGAIN and your response is to then send another email? NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

People who complain all winter about how cold it is and then complain all summer about how hot it is: People, please pick a lane. Be a cold weather person or a hot weather person, but don’t be a “hates all weather except fall” person. As someone who loathes and detests summer with every ounce of my being, I make a specific point to never complain about winter, no matter how cold it might be. Why? Because summer is so much worse for me. I recognize that there are people who love summer and hate winter, and that is fine – you do you, boo boo. But do not complain about how hot it is in summer. You can’t have it both ways. It cannot always be spring or fall. In fact, if you live in a lot of places (such as South Carolina), spring and fall are only about 5 minutes long anyway. Please choose at least one season per year during which you will not complain about the weather, or move somewhere where your desired weather exists all year long. Or defriend me on Facebook. All of these are viable options.

Mama June understands my issues with summer

Group texts: I think my age is beginning to show, you guys. I officially have no patience left for group texts that are longer than approximately 4 messages over the course of 24 hours. I hear the vibrations of my phone going off for group text after group text in my nightmares, and it’s at the point where even the group texts that my husband is on make me crazy. I realize that sometimes they are more efficient, and I do appreciate that aspect – I am all about efficiency, after all – but the constant notifications make me crazy. My general rule of thumb now is to immediately place group conversations on “Do Not Disturb” and then just check them later when I have a few minutes, so I’m not constantly being interrupted at work by vibrations. Just thinking about this is actually giving me an eye twitch.

My neighborhood’s Facebook group: Ohhhhh my gosh, you guys. A few months ago, I discovered that my neighborhood has a Facebook group where residents (carefully screened to make sure no outsiders are allowed in the group) can post “news.” I think the idea initially was so people could post items that are relevant to the entire neighborhood in one place – for example, “The pool opens June 1, make sure to purchase your membership before then,” or whatever. What the Facebook group actually is is a place where people straight up just bitch and complain about the most incredibly mundane and minor things – and I mean, who does that, besides me? Examples of posts include:

  • Describing cars that roll through stop signs in the neighorbood in detail
  • Passive-aggressive posts asking if our neighborhood covenants are ever actually enforced (for things like parking on the street)
  • Calling out specific homes/lawns for not mowing their grass frequently enough (with addresses and everything) and threatening to have them fined by the County
  • Keeping a detailed watch of what time the various trash companies come collect the trash and noting when they are late
  • Lamenting the loss of the “good ole days”and how people don’t care about taking pride in their homes anymore.

 

Now, I will be the first to admit that I am embarrassingly obsessed with this Facebook group. I check it every single day to get the gossip and find out what the latest complaint is. I don’t ever comment on it, but I do need to know what’s going on in the neighborhood. I just prefer to do my ranting on a large public blog where the whole internet can see rather than an insular Facebook group, like a normal person.

LEAVE A COMMENT: What’s making you crazy lately? Add your rant!

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