Do you ever have those epiphanies about yourself that you realize are obvious to literally everyone else in your life? That’s embarrassing. Today, I had one of those epiphanies.
I am incapable of relaxing.
I told AJ this breaking news and he was like “Um, yeah. I live with you. I know.” I think people have probably told me in the past that I can’t relax, but I didn’t want to believe them. I wanted to be the “cool girl” – laid back, go with the flow, effortless beach hair that looks like the kind in the commercials rather than the actual beach, etc. But no, I must admit. It is true. I cannot relax.
How did I reach this conclusion? Well, as you all know, I have a lot going on right now. I don’t need to list all that out because there are plenty of people busier than me and no one really cares how busy I or anyone else is. That being said, I started my final (hooray!) class for my Masters this week and shit has hit the proverbial fan. After a fantastic weekend in Washington D.C. this past weekend, I got home very late Sunday night and barely made it out of bed Monday morning. I’ve got what appears to be a sinus infection, and I can barely drag myself to the office (I have my own office and only two other people work in my building, so I’m not infecting anyone) let alone work out.
If you’re a normal person, you might be upset about not being able to work out, but you’re probably not freaking out about it. If you’re a normal person, your first thought when realizing you’re too sick to work out is probably not “Oh good, now I can get ahead on my school work!” It’s probably “I should eat a lot of pizza and cookies and drink a lot of water so I get better soon.” I’ll let you guess which one of those thoughts was mine.
I just can’t seem to chill out ever, no matter how beneficial it would be for my body or mind. Some fellow bloggers have talked recently about being “Type A, but lazy.” I am basically never lazy. If I am too sore or tired to run, I replace it with something else. If I am too stressed out to write a blog post, I do my school work instead.
Sometimes I think that something has got to change, and maybe it does. But then I think “If I relax, how will I get everything done? WHO WILL MAKE AJ LUNCH?” It’s hard to prioritize when it feels like everything is equally important. While working out maybe shouldn’t make that list, I know how good it is for my mental and physical wellbeing, so it seems necessary.
There is no point to this post other than to say that I discovered the world’s most obvious quality about myself. And I don’t suppose that I really plan on changing it? Oh my God, does that make me even more insane? But hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step, or something.
LEAVE A COMMENT: Are you capable of relaxing, or are you Jessie Spano in disguise too?