Contrary to popular belief, I do have other interests besides running and drinking beer. These interests include, but are not limited to:
- Drinking wine
- Buying things on Amazon
- The color grey, as spelled with an “e”
I’ve been watching football for as long as I can remember. I often tell people that the first song I ever learned the words to was the Miami Dolphins fight song, and while I’m not entirely sure that’s true, it’s probably pretty close. My dad and I went to every Dolphins home game for 12 years, and once I got old enough to care about college football, I loved that too. As such, I’ve been playing fantasy football since I was about 16. This year, against my better judgement, I’m in two leagues (again), one of which is all girls and the other of which is all guys except me. The guys’ league is made up of AJ and all of his friends, so it’s a pretty rowdy group, and every year we have a big draft party to pick our teams. AJ and I couldn’t make it last year, but this year, we made sure to be there.
What’s a fantasy football draft party like? Well, if you’re in our league, you’ll see no less than two people in aprons. The first person is me, because I cook all of the food. I guess it’s horrendously stereotypical that I’m the only girl in the league and I’m cooking all the food (while wearing an apron), so I’m going to go ahead and apologize to the feminist movement for setting it back twenty years. Regardless, I like cooking and I’m actually pretty good at it, so I was actually excited to make everything. Here was the draft party menu:
- Bratwurst sliders topped with peppers and onions
- Spinach and artichoke dip
- Bacon/cheese/ranch bread
- Red velvet cupcakes filled with cream cheese icing
- Cake batter blondies
Selfish AJ “accidentally” left the cake batter blondies at home, so we actually didn’t end up eating those. They are his favorite thing that I make, so I’m pretty sure it was not a coincidence. They’re super easy to make and always a crowd pleaser, so feel free to steal the recipe.
So anyway, I mentioned that there are two people wearing aprons. And who might the other one be, you ask? That would be the overall loser of last year’s league, who gets the dubious honor of being the Beer Princess on draft day. No kidding. We actually bought an apron and had it embroidered. It says “Beer Princess” and then under that, “#fantasyloser.” Because everyone loves an embroidered hashtag. This year, the Beer Princess was Ethan, and he was an awesome sport about it, even if he insisted on wearing the apron without a shirt. He said it was his goal to sweat on the apron as much as possible to punish next year’s loser. He fetched all of our beers the whole day and did pretty much everything else we asked too.
And eventually, amidst a lot of beer pong, fighting over the bratwurst sliders, and yelling at each other to hurry up and pick already, we completed our draft. It’s a 12 person league, by the way. In case you’re curious, here’s my team. I’m feeling pretty good about it.
- QB1: Andrew Luck, QB2: Sam Bradford
- RB1: Ray Rice, RB2: Eddie Lacy, RB3: Rashard Mendenhall, RB4: Knowshon Moreno
- WR1: Dez Bryant, WR2: Danny Amendola, WR3: Jordy Nelson, WR4: Miles Austin
- TE1: Owen Daniels, TE2: Julius Thomas
- D: Ravens
- K: Phil Dawson
ESPN rated my draft an A-, putting me third in the ranking system for our league, and most importantly, one spot above AJ.
After the draft, most of the group headed over to Flying Saucer, and yes, we made Ethan wear the apron. Our waitress was willing to conspire with us to let him serve us the beer, so even though she had to physically go and get it, he brought it to us from the bar. The waitress enjoyed this so much that we somehow ended up with pint glasses featuring Mitt Romney’s face for the low price of $2 each. Related: Why the hell did we pay for pint glasses featuring a picture of a now-irrelevant presidential candidate? They clearly should have been free.
All the days run together for me now, and with it being a long weekend, apparently they did for everyone else too, because we were aghast when the bar closed down on us at midnight. Fortunately, our Beer Princess solved the problem by finding some extremely sketchy bar in the middle of nowhere for us to go. There were 4 total people in the bar when we walked in, and all but one of them left immediately upon our arrival. Maybe it was the tattooed guy in the apron? Hard to say. Before I knew it, Epps was taking his shirt off (because why not), AJ had developed a New Jersey accent and was walking through the drive through trying to convince Sonic to open even though they had closed 2 hours earlier, and I had taken on my traditional role as psychologist for the group. I also learned that sometimes the guy’s bathroom in a bar just features a giant trough full of ice and nothing else, so that left me with a lot of questions that I’m not sure I actually want the answers to. I once asked AJ to get me a glass of water and he came back instead with 8 Royal Flush shots, which I later found out were assigned to my tab. Oh, the struggles of being the most sober person at the bar. Good thing that rarely happens.
So that’s what I did this Labor Day weekend instead of running. I always go to bed at about 10 pm when I’m running all the time and waking up super early, so it was kind of freeing to be able to not have to worry about that. I’m going to reattempt running tomorrow, though, so stay tuned!
LEAVE A COMMENT: How did you spend Labor Day Weekend? Are you in a fantasy football league? If so, what cool traditions does your league have?