T-Rex Getz Anethesia

I apologize for my absence. I’ve been a bit busy ringing in the New Year in a slightly less dramatic fashion than last year. More on that later.

Today was the much anticipated procedure to find out what is wrong with my stomach. My appointment got abruptly moved up last Friday at 4:30 pm to today instead of two weeks from now, so I decided to come back from our little ski trip early so I could finally figure out what’s wrong. For those of you who are interested and know medical things, the procedure was an endoscopy with a BRAVO test. Basically they stick a camera down my esophagus, look around, and then pin a little capsule to my esophagus lining that measures the acid that comes up over the course of 48 hours.  I get to wear a fancy little monitor that looks like one of the pagers drug dealers wore back in the early 90s. You are obviously jealous.

 

If God can send a page to my monitoring device, I’ll be super impressed. Your move, Lord.

So we had to wake up very early to head back from North Carolina this morning, and I felt like I got hit by a train. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything all morning, so spending 3 hours in the car with my friends and their delicious breakfast foods did not put me in a better mood. By the time AJ and I got to the doctor’s office, I was just ready for it to start so that I could be put to sleep because I was exhausted.

 

Special preview photo courtesy of AJ, my nurse and chief documenter of my humiliation.

Imagine my displeasure, then, when I arrived and gave them my insurance card, only to be told that they weren’t actually sure if the procedure was covered because the girl who changed my appointment verified my coverage with my old insurance instead of my new one. To be fair, that wasn’t her fault because she didn’t have my new insurance card. Why? Because the last time I was there, I was told not to give them my new information until the next time I came in. So my procedure was either going to be covered and cost me a few hundred dollars or not covered and cost me a few thousand. And there was of course no way to know for sure because insurance companies have to determine “medical necessity.” Apparently, had the woman in billing known that my appointment had changed, she would have taken care of all this, but no one told her. So the consensus was I could either wait for the doctor’s office to send in all my medical records and get a predetermination of medical necessity, which would take about 30 days, and wait to get another appointment (this one took me 2 months to get), or I could have the procedure and hope it would be covered.

Knowing how hostile my mother gets when anyone messes with me, I opted for Option B and said a silent prayer that the dumbasses at my insurance company would just cover the procedure and not bother trying to fight it, because they would be in for a world of hurt if T-Rex Mom had to go to bat for me. Yes, I’m 27 years old and let my mother fight insurance companies for me. Sorry I’m not sorry.

 

T-Rex Mom looks small, but she is quite aggressive when provoked. You don’t even want to know about T-Rex Nana.

So anyway, the whole reason for this post is to provide you with a rather humorous video of my post-anesthesia stupor. I don’t remember any of this taking place. You’ll notice me asking for a koozie (obviously a priority at all times) and the moment when I realize that AJ is videoing me. Bless his heart, he’s been a wonderful nurse all day.

 

Clearly it did not take me long to humiliate myself in 2013. It’s shaping up to be a good year for you people.

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