T-Rex Rantz – Volume 2

Today’s edition of T-Rex Rantz brings to you three new topics that have been making me want to punch random strangers in the face lately. My previous edition of T-Rex Rantz was fairly popular because you are all apparently as hateful as me, so I have decided to make it a semi-regular feature on the blog. So without further adieu, here’s some shit I can’t stand.

1. Cars that automatically adjust the radio volume based on speed

I travel a lot for work, and as such, I drive a lot of rental cars. I have pretty much driven every SUV on the market right now, so let me know if you need opinions before buying a car. Regardless, I have come across a new phenomenon whereby the car will automatically adjust the volume of the radio based on how fast you are going and the associated road noise that is expected at that speed.

Sounds like a good idea, right? Oh, well how helpful, Chevrolet Suburban, you are so thoughtful. No. They are not thoughtful. This is clearly a game thought up by bored engineers at the auto companies that is designed to make people think they are going insane. I didn’t catch onto this little game for quite some time. I thought I was just hearing things. That was annoying enough. Then, once AJ confirmed that I am not in fact crazy not imagining things, I realized that not only has this device led me to question my sanity, but it doesn’t even WORK.

Srsly, the stupid thing is operating on some type of delay and way overcompensates for road noise that isn’t even there as you go faster. Then it turns the volume so low that you can barely hear it when you slow down. Leave my volume ALONE. Ughhhhhh this shouldn’t be making me mad as I type this but I actually feel a nervous tick coming on. It is that annoying.

2. People that post current events on Facebook

In the wake of the Aurora tragedy (but not literally right after, because I’m not that much of an asshole), I was reminded of something that makes me crazy. Basically, whenever something HUGE happens in the news, it drives me nuts when people post links to the article or post a status about it as if they are the first person to get this news or as if we are all relying on them for information. This happens all the time, whether it is with a national event like the Aurora shootings, or a celebrity death, like Michael Jackson, or the verdict in a big court case, like the Jerry Sandusky trial.

PS, in case you guys were wondering, 12 people died in Aurora, Colorado when a crazy person shot up a movie theater, Michael Jackson died, and Jerry Sandusky is guilty of being the most awful person on the planet.

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Christian Bale finally stopped acting like an asshat and went to visit the shooting victims. Well done, sir.

But in all seriousness, if you see half your facebook friends posting links or a status about a current event, you do not also need to post a status about that event. We’re good. We’re covered.  And at the risk of sounding like a callous bitch, am I the only one who finds it slightly annoying when people “extend their condolences”  and “offer their prayers” to the victims/families via facebook status? First of all, I’m pretty sure you’re not facebook friends with any of them. Second of all, if you are, telling them you’re sorry via facebook is pretty shitty. And third, why do you need to tell everyone that you find it upsetting that people were killed in a horrible tragedy/molested for years/etc? If you’re a normal human being, OF COURSE you find this upsetting. OF COURSE you feel bad for the victims and their families. And if you’re a religious person, you’re praying for them. We get it.

On a related note, I offer my sincere condolences to all victims of everything.

3. Sweating

I know what you’re thinking. This makes absolutely no sense. Here we are talking about someone who a) runs multiple marathons each month b) is going to try not to drown training for her first triathlon c) grew up in South Florida and d) currently lives in Columbia, South Carolina, a city whose actual slogan is “Famously Hot.” Hey asshat self, you clearly picked the wrong sport/life.

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No, T-Rex does not sweat acid rain. I just don’t know what color sweat is.

Yeah, I know. Tell me about it. But the truth is I absolutely detest sweating. I don’t like sweating when I’m exercising, no matter how concerted the effort or how valiant the goal. I don’t like sweating when I’m not exercising either, but then I suppose no one does. I don’t even like lying on the beach because I just lay in my own sweat. The crazy thing is, I think most, if not all, of you reading this probably LOVE sweating. You feel good after a hard workout when you’re drenched in sweat because you know you did something, am I right? Not me. If I could work out in Antarctica outdoors in the dead of winter so that I never sweated a drop, that is precisely what I would do. People think I’m crazy because winter is my favorite season, but do you know why that is? It’s because it’s almost impossible to sweat in the winter. And if you do, it immediately evaporates. It’s amazing.

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One of the best runs I ever went on. Yes, those are camo gloves.

So you may have guessed that I am a slightly angry dinosaur during “sweating season,” or as I like to call it, March – October. As far as I’m concerned, there are only two seasons that matter and those are sweating season and non-sweating season. It’s no coincidence I just an a marathon in Montana. I was scoping it out for possible future moves because the weather is ideal.  No, I’m not going to stop running, biking, or living in South Carolina (for the time being). I’m just establishing my right to state how much I detest these things (and the sweating they cause) at any given time.

LEAVE A COMMENT: What annoyed you this week? I won’t judge.

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