This past weekend was my third and final weekend in a row of “resting” from the marathon lifestyle, but it was probably just as busy as any other weekend since I can’t sit still. As my father always said, “Life is boring to boring people.” So I try to never be boring so that way my life isn’t either. Besides, then what would I write about?
On Friday night we celebrated AJ’s birthday with his family. His mom had been “on the wagon” since the wedding the weekend before, but my presence is as good an excuse as any to drink apparently, so we swiftly opened (and finished) a bottle of wine. After a quick stop by Cameron’s house to say goodbye to her before she moved to Australia (so glam I can’t stand it), we headed over to Lake Wateree for the first gathering of the Power Rangers since approximately 1995.
Yes, that is right. AJ, Matt, Blake, and Diller had chosen the Power Rangers as their team name for the USMC Mud Run, and really, what could be more appropriate? Smills had outfitted them with some sweet bandanas and t-shirts and I must say, they looked very powerful.
The only problem was that when we went to leave for the run in the morning, the shirts weren’t dry yet. So we did the only thing we could think of and weighted them down in the bed of Diller’s truck with rocks, logs, and whatever else we could find and hoped they wouldn’t fly away. It seemed to work quite effectively, because as you can see, they looked phenom.
When we got to the Mud Run, I had really only one primary objective – food, obviously. I was incredibly excited to see SABRETT hot dogs for sale! All my South Florida people know how exciting and important this is, but imagine living in South Carolina, where you can’t even buy such a delicious treat. It was like a mirage made of hot dogs, aka my normal daydream. But alas, it was not to be. The guy couldn’t get his little cart working so I had to settle for an inferior “all beef” product.
It was about 9:30 am, so I asked Smills if she thought it was too early for beer. The people selling hotdogs laughed like I was kidding. I wasn’t, but I felt judged, so I didn’t drink. Besides, it was time to see the boys off. Each team started about 1 minute apart, so the boys left a couple teams behind a group of our country’s finest, currently stationed at Shaw Air Force Base with the team name “Astroglide All-stars.” America’s heroes.
Smills and I positioned ourselves to see as many obstacles as we could, and we happened to find some pretty good ones. There was a big slippery wall to climb over, a muddy ditch to wade/swim through, and a glorious rope course that caused a lot of spectacular falls. We were close to about 5 different obstacles, and we had enough time while waiting for the boys to figure out the ideal strategy at all of them while watching the complete failures of others.
By the time the boys got to the rope course, Smills and I had worked out the strategy and I was ready, as self-appointed team captain (which occurred while they were on the course), to give them my advice. They attempted to listen but ultimately splattered into the muddy water with great gusto, once again getting mud on me.
Then AJ threw mud on me in the mud pit. He is not a nice person.
Then there was a big wall for them to climb over. But more importantly, two members of the team had to carry the other two.
They did an awesome job and finished somewhere in the top 25% of all the teams. As for the Astroglide All-Stars? They were significantly slower than the Power Rangers.
I came away from the Mud Run with no desire whatsoever to do the race by choice, as I really don’t like dirt. I can handle sweating, and I don’t mind being dirty, but I’d really prefer not to be both at the same time. However, I would probably do pretty well, so I am considering being on a coed team for the fall. Maybe. But I’ll probably break a bone, so I’m trying to schedule it as late in the marathon season as possible. Baby isn’t taking any chances.
Saturday evening we headed over to the driving range so AJ could try out the new clubs he got for his birthday. People there literally stopped what they were doing to watch him. It’s kind of like dating a circus freak that you’re really, really proud of.
On Sunday, AJ fell victim to my DIY hate. I’m sure he was all “tired” and “sore” from his 5 mile nature walk, but the fact of the matter is that I had a lot of crafts I needed help with and dammit, I have proven incapable of accomplishing them. The first order of business was hanging up my new medal racks, aka curtain rods. I’ve amassed quite a lot of medals lately, and I have run out of room on my traditional hooks. Kristen found an idea for some cardboard letters that you could spray paint to look like metal, so I used one of the quotes from a legendary runner who recently passed away, Micah True.
The only problem was that I couldn’t hang up the curtain rods myself. First I couldn’t get the drill to work. Then I wasn’t sure I was putting the drywall anchors in right. Then I thought I might not be hanging the bracket correctly, so Miss “I don’t need no man” turned to her boyfriend for help. And I’ve got quite the little setup going now, thanks to him.
Then came the real test – the pallet shelves. First, we had to procure a pallet. And by procure, I mean “steal-ish.” There were a bunch leaning up outside the fire station and AJ was all “OMG asshole, you can’t steal from firemen.” But like, I’m pretty sure they weren’t using them, and I would have totes knocked on the door to ask. But as luck would have it, when we went to drop off some recycling at the dump, there was a pile of GLORIOUS PALLETS that I didn’t even have to steal, Jesus! The heavens opened and God smiled upon me. So we took one and headed back to my garage for some aggressive sawing action. I held the boards and AJ sawed, hammered, or whatever the appropriate action was at the time. In the end, the result was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Too bad I need a lot more to hold my ever-growing pint glass collection.
The good news is that AJ now hates Pinterest as much as me. The bad news is that I found some more projects that I want to do. Oops.