Resolutions are for humans, not dinosaurs.

2012 is the year of the dragon according to the Chinese.  You know what a dragon sort of very closely resembles?


Using the transitive property or something else I learned in math, we therefore might say that 2012 is the year of the T-Rex. Just go with me on this.

2011 was one of the best, worst, craziest, most calming years of my life. I think I learned more about myself this year than in any year before. Here’s a brief recap.

  1. My husband and I separated and I lived alone for the first time in my life. After freaking out about how quiet it was for a few days, I realized I don’t really like people that much and life’s a lot more fun when you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and if you want to, you can do it naked because you live alone.
  2. I ran my 2nd3rd4th5th6th, and 7thmarathons. I set a PR twice and created a new personal worst. I ran through ghettos, along the ocean, in the woods, and past a lot of very nice houses. I threw up on the lawns of the very rich and the very poor, because I’m all about equality.marathonjazzhands-14
  3. I joined The first person I got matched with was my ex-husband. Seriously. 522323049234 emails  (some hilarious, some creepy, and some with the worst grammar I’ve ever seen) and two weeks later, I quit. The two dates I went on haunt me to this day for entirely opposite reasons.
  4. I learned how to budget. I then promptly forgot how to budget and became a Marathon Maniac.
  5. I started this blog and changed the world provided amusement for all of you.375660_10150397299463467_512523466_8361811_730397944_n-1-3
  6. I spent two months in physical therapy for shin splints, multiple days in the doctor’s office for heart problems, and several blissful hours in the capable hands of hot chiropractor…and I ran through it all.
  7. I met some amazing friends that I know I will have in my life for a long time to come. I reconnected with old ones. Whether I met you through Team in Training, work, my neighbors, or by accosting you on the street while you ran by, you all know who you are and I am so glad I can call you my friends.youth-chelsea-handler-dating-chelsea-nbc-ecards-someecards-2
  8. I did not break any bones.
  9. I rediscovered how awesome my parents are. You know how you thought your parents hung the moon when you were a kid? Then you kind of become a jerk and hate them for awhile? Well, I’m back to thinking they hung the moon again, and it’s not just because they bought me a tablet for Christmas.
  10. I got a great new job and realized it can be fun to go to work every day when your coworkers have your same sick sense of humor.

2012 is shaping up to be a pretty epic year. I’m not into resolutions because I don’t try not to lie to myself, but I do have a few things I’d like to accomplish this year.


Without further adieu, here’s some shit I’d like to do in 2012. My company says we’re supposed to set measurable, attainable, and timely goals, so this is my attempt at doing so in preparation for my yearly review. I promise to use less profanity in my actual review.

  1. Run at least 24 marathons. I’d like to hit 20 states while I’m at it, but 16 will still be regarded as a win. If interested in providing material for my blog hanging out with me or running with me at any of them, please contact me for further information and I will send you my super aggressive marathon planning spreadsheet.
  2. Finish my master’s degree, because I’m so over it and it’s hard to do homework when you’re constantly traveling. Yes, my life is hard.
  3. Increase my international presence. This will be accomplished in two ways. One, I will actually go to another country and yes, run a marathon. Two, I got my stats the other day from WordPress and it turns out that the T-Rex Runner has gone global, baby! I have readers in Canada, Ecuador, the U.K., the Netherlands, and Germany. If you are in another country and you read my blog, please comment or contact me so we can be best friends forever chat because I’d love to learn how you found my blog and if you’re judging the United States as a whole as a result of reading it. I would like to expand to an additional ten countries in 2012, such as the Iraq.
  4. Break 4:20 in a marathon and 2 hours in a half. I don’t know if I’ll even run an actual half marathon this year, so that might not happen.paulaap0411_468x611-2
  5. I want to get published. There, I said it.  The big, scary, unspeakable goal is out there. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but by the time the year is over, I want to get a column published in a magazine, write a book, whatever. It’s going to happen. And then Fawn will write about it in our upcoming yet-to-be-titled mockumentary about being a Marathon Maniac and…uh…a Marathon Maniac’s equally crazy friend (stay tuned)?
  6. I want to run a double marathon weekend. As in a marathon on Saturday and then another on Sunday.
  7. I want to do an ultra marathon. Either a 50k or a 50 miler. Depends how crazy I feel.

I don’t know what 2012 will hold, and quite frankly, I am ready for it regardless. Big things are going to happen this year, I can feel it. On an unrelated note, this post is almost too positive for my personal taste.


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