I hate the sun.

I hate the sun.

Yes, I’m blindingly, traumatically pale. Yes, I used to get sunburned while walking between classes in college (true story). Yes, I lack the ability to tan in any sense of the word. My darkest skin color is most other people’s palest. In fact, do not tan. I “beige.”

However, this is not why I hate the sun. I hate the sun because I am a runner, and as such, I am obligated to hate the sun. Being a runner means that no one will ever listen to your opinions about the weather ever again. My ideal conditions are the ones that normal people dread.

wpid-fvmfb-3Overcast? Fog? Hell, smog? Fantastic. Rain? Sleet? Freezing rain (is this the same as sleet, northerners?)? SNOW? Bring it on. These are the conditions I long for, nay, I crave for running. The sun is my worst enemy, no matter what the temperature. Take my trip home to Florida as an example.

Run #1: 80+ degrees, high humidity, after dark. I ran sub 8 pace the whole five miles, making it my fastest five miles ever despite the awful temperature and humidity.

Run #2: Around 80, high humidity, morning. Had to have my dad pick me up after five miles where I repeatedly stopped to walk and almost passed out.

Run #3: Mid 70s, high-ish humidity, after dark. Ran around 8:30 pace, felt great, five miles.

Run #4: Refer to Run #2.

Run #5: Low 60s, low humidity, 10 am. Ran six miles but ran slowly and still felt bad because the sun was blazing in my face.

So you see, it’s not the heat. Put me under an overcast sky or the moon and I’m going to be ok no matter what the temperature. The sun, however, is apparently in cohoots with birds and is conspiring to ruin my life. As such, I can’t wait to go home to South Carolina if for no reason other than the delightfully cold temperatures and general winter cloudiness. In fact, I think my ideal place to live just might be Buffalo, NY. I’m pretty sure the weather “sucks” there year round. But not for me. Oh no. That is my Eden, my Mecca, my Heaven. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s cheap as hell to live there.

wpid-snow-in-buffalo04-3In other news, I head back home tomorrow. I’ve had a really great time at home and been lucky enough to see lots of old friends and spend time with my family. In my relaxed state, I have possibly registered for fifty one too many marathons. I’ll either be bankrupt in 2012, really well traveled, or both. I’ve missed all you fools back home, on gchat, and yes, even at work. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of awkward stories for all of you upon my return. I mean, it’s what I do.

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