“Oh my God, these dinosaurs are so fast! With such muscular…leg strength!”

I’m not what you’d call a terribly positive person most of the time.

I know. Take a moment to let that sink in. It’s hard.

Today, though, I had one of those rare days when I was generally pretty thankful for everything that happened. This doesn’t happen often, so let’s embrace it.

I went to bed at 9pm last night. I could have gone to bed at 8:30, but I was too busy responding to texts from people who didn’t believe I was going to be asleep by 9. You guys are all assholes, by the way. You know who you are.

I slept until 7 this morning, and I sure needed it. I guess running a lot is tiring or something. I had to head down to Charleston this morning, so I stopped at Starbucks and got a hot chocolate and a peppermint brownie cake pop, also known as the breakfast of champions.

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Once in Charleston, I did some work and then hit up a new burrito place with KBeezy and another coworker who shall remain nameless, as he has not yet earned entry into my blog hall of fame. KB was extolling the virtues of this little bloggy blog, and it made me feel pretty good. I like the idea that I somehow brighten people’s days with the absurdity that is my existence. So, coworker-who-must-not-be-named, if you are reading, kindly do something funny so that I can write about you. Thanks.

I haven’t run since Kiawah, and today was to be my first day back. I know. Three whole days off. I literally had to plan events for every hour of each of the days I took off to ensure that I would not run. Let’s just say I’ve eaten a lot of burgers and consumed a lot of Bud Light. Can we take a moment to examine what I, the prolific runner that some of you seem to look up to, have eaten today?

Breakfast:  Hot Chocolate with nonfat milk and no whipped cream. Peppermint brownie cake pop.

Lunch: “Big” burrito (as in, not the regular size. The super size) with extra cheese, some guac, and ranch (plus healthy things). Chips and queso. Chocolate chip cookie. Sprite to drink.

Dinner: Side caesar salad. Pimento cheeseburger. Red velvet cupcake. Bud Light.

Remember, do as I say, not as I do. This diet is not for the faint of heart.

Since I’m in Charleston today, I asked my coworker Amanda if she wanted to go for a run. She was excited since she hasn’t run much lately but is set to do the Goofy Challenge at Disney World – the half marathon on Saturday and the full marathon on Sunday. She said she needed to run 11 miles tonight and while I was only planning on doing 5, I can’t help myself. So we mapped out a route from Patriot’s Point (a park near the famed Cooper River Bridge) to Sullivan’s Island and back, which was my suggestion as a means of tooting my own horn. You see, today I learned that one of the grant applications I wrote received the maximum amount of funding possible, $400,000, to widen the sidewalk we would be running on and turn it into a multi-use path. Basically, I wanted to do a victory lap. If the people of Charleston County applauded me and threw rose petals at my feet as I ran by, so be it. Do what you have to do.

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I felt great on the run until my back started getting tight in the last couple of miles. We kept a good pace and aside from falling in potholes, not being able to see the path because it was pitch black, and me nearly being hit by a car pulling out of a gas station, it was a great run! There’s something about being able to run 11 miles after a long workday that just makes you feel good about yourself. It’s not very often that I feel like I do a lot of things right, but tonight was one of those where I just thought to myself, you know what? I’m doing ok. Don’t worry, tomorrow I will hate everything and be funny again.

Amanda and I parted ways and I headed back to my hotel, where I have now reached Platinum Elite status in my rewards club. This is big time, people. I won’t go into all the details because I don’t want anyone to kill me out of jealousy, but let’s just say my perks include free alcohol. So, Matt the bartender greeted me by name and handed me a Bud Light as I walked past the bar, asked how marathon training is going, and told me he’d see me next week. I took a shower and called room service, and the girl knew my order by heart. You know what? My life is not hard. There are times when it has been hard, but those times are not today. Sorry I’m not sorry.

I also got a pretty hilarious reader submission today from Dr. J. I am pretty sure this is what I look like when I run, which is why all the people in front of me are running so much faster. They’re afraid.

 

Just so you know, I don’t post these videos to amuse myself. They’re for you, so watch them. Live them. And let me know if you want to join my Palmetto 200 team. Baby’s got goals.

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