“You know what I should have done after I ran? I should have Tebowed.” – Dallas White Rock Marathon weekend, Part 1

My December marathon had me jetting off to Dallas, Texas to visit my friend Fawn. Fawn and I met about 3.5 years ago when we both got sent to Iowa to help with flood disaster relief mapping for FEMA. We bonded over a mutual love of food, judging people, and profanity. I haven’t seen her since then, so I was very excited when she responded to one of my many Facebook statuses begging for marathon accommodations.

I arrived in Dallas at about 8pm Friday night, and we headed immediately to a food truck expo/fair/festival/gathering. I tend to like my food to come out of actual buildings, but Lauren had previously assured me that food trucks are very normal and safe and delicious, so I was willing to give it a try. I ate a giant double cheeseburger. And they say marathon runners eat healthy… ha!


Turns out, there’s lots of hipsters in the greater Dallas/Fort Worth area. We met all of them at the food truck thingy.


After embracing our inner (or in Fawn’s case, outer) liberal, we headed to downtown Fort Worth to get some cupcakes and look around a bit.

After hitting up the local Flying Saucer in an effort to pay homage to RDub, we headed to Dallas (which is apparently not as close to Fort Worth as “Dallas-Fort Worth” might imply) to check into our hotel. Fawn booked us a sweet room at the Omni, which had only opened a month before and was the host hotel for the race. Fawn decided to update her facebook by checking us in everywhere we went the whole weekend, and she wanted to friend my mom on facebook so that my mom would know that I was still alive and breathing at all times. So she friended my mom at about 1:30 am eastern time, then got belligerent when my mom STILL hadn’t confirmed her five minutes later.

Fawn: “Why hasn’t your mom confirmed me on facebook yet?”

Me: ” Well, it’s about 1:30 am back home and my mom goes to bed by 10, so…”



We woke up surprisingly early the next morning and I told Fawn I was headed out for a run. She doesn’t run. Ever. So imagine my surprise when she told me she wanted to join me on the streets of downtown Dallas. I was excited and I figured it would be fine since I was only going to do a slow 2 miles just to shake everything out from the flight the day before. Then I saw her put on her Ugg boots.


Me: “Uhh, Fawn? Why are you putting on Uggs?”

Fawn: “What the f *** do you think I’m going to run in? I didn’t bring anything else!”

I told her this was a pretty bad idea, but to be honest, I was kind of interested in seeing how this whole thing panned out, so I let it go. We set off around 6:30 am. It was sort of misting rain and we had the entire city to ourselves, which was awesome. Fawn had been telling me the night before about how bad traffic in Dallas is, so it was amazing to see literally no cars on the road. First, we stopped at a park where they had this elaborate set up of sculptures of cowboys roping longhorns. This park was less than a quarter mile away. Fawn stopped running before we got there.


At this point, I knew it was going to be a long 2 miles, but I also knew how much I loved Fawn and really, it didn’t matter how long it took us. I yelled at her spoke encouragingly the entire time and we continued on our tour de Dallas. There was a parade that was set to start at 10 am, and absurd people were already outside, in lawn chairs, lined up on the street for this shit. It’s not the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, people. It’s Dallas. Jordin Sparks is the guest of honor. The situation is not that critical.


As we made our way towards the city center, Fawn realized why running in Ugg boots is a bad idea.


Funnily enough, this was all her idea. She VOLUNTEERED to run with me. So while I could deal with her cursing my name the entire time we were running, she then proceeded to tell everyone we met for the rest of the day that I FORCED her to run with me. Outrageous. Honey badger don’t force people to run with her. Honey badger don’t give a shit. By the time all was said and done, though, she was happy that I “made” her run with me. Even if I did literally pull her to keep her running the last quarter mile.


After cleaning up, we headed off to THE EXPO. That’s right. My second favorite part of race weekend, right after crossing the finish line. Fawn loved it and I spent the whole time geeking out. They had a little area where you could write why you “Run the Rock” and then get videoed talking about it, so we obviously did. I resisted the urge to pimp my blog, don’t worry.


We stopped by the Little Rock Marathon expo booth since I am running there in March! I got to meet the race directors, who refer to themselves as the “CIC’s” – Chicks in Charge! They are hilarious and I had a great time talking with them. They ended up adding a free perks package onto my registration because I was so creepily enthusiastic about the race. Even more importantly, I became only the THIRD PERSON IN THE WORLD (after the CIC’s) to see the 2012 medal! Medals in Little Rock are big business. They are redesigned every year and they are the biggest medals in the country. The things literally could stop a bullet.


After hanging out at the expo, Fawn had to show me all the important sights of Dallas, specifically the Cowboys stadium, a falafel place that was on the Food Network, and Cavender’s Boot World. On the way there, I realized what a nerd I am.


We went to Lauren’s Mecca the Cowboy’s stadium so I could take a picture. It was raining, so I didn’t get out and look for Miles Austin, but I’m pretty sure he was there. The place is literally larger than life. What really impressed me, though, was the amount of available parking. That shit goes on for miles. We literally were still passing official parking lots two miles from the stadium. It was unreal.


Next, we headed to Prince’s, a Lebanese restaurant featured on the Food Network. It’s in an old Sonic, so it looks pretty ghetto both inside and out, but it was amazing.


While in the restaurant, completely out of the blue, Fawn said, “You know what I should have done after I ran? I should have Tebowed.” And I think that is pretty much the best thing I’ve ever heard. And I really wish she had, because you know that picture would have made the blog cut for sho.

After a delicious lunch, we headed to Cavender’s. I was determined to by some real, authentic cowboy boots. Then I learned how tacky everything sold in Texas is.


There were walls and walls of boots. Most of them were bedazzled, plaid, had crosses on them, or were hideous in some other way. Even the jeans had rhinestones on them. Pull yourself together, people! One bedazzled article of clothing is more than enough.


After realizing that I’ll never fit in in Texas, we headed back to the hotel and Fawn made the executive decision that getting massages at the spa was totally necessary. Turns out, she was right. She actually got hit on by her apparently randy male masseuse, probably because she told him how I FORCED HER TO RUN and it was the WORST MORNING OF HER LIFE or something equally dramatic. After that, we hit the race pasta party, where I chatted with other absurd people about all the marathons we’ve run. Turns out, Fawn and I were sitting at the table next to last year’s marathon winner. He was obviously Kenyan. Not wanting to be outdone by Kenyans/runners/anyone, Fawn carbo-loaded in preparation for her job as a spectator. After all, she was about to watch me try and qualify for the Marathon Maniacs!

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