Trick or T-Rex

Sometimes, I think I’m really funny. This is one of those times.

A little over a week ago, I went back up to Washington D.C. to finish some work I needed to do up there. It also happened to be my best friend’s birthday, and since I moved to South Carolina five years ago, I haven’t seen her on her birthday in a very long time. Since I needed to go up for work anyway, I figured it would be convenient to go during her birthday.

We took part in many excellent activities during the 4 days I was in town, but probably the most fun we had was on Friday night. Lauren and I both have a great love for gay bars – who doesn’t like to be told how fabulous you are by men who aren’t trying to sleep with you? – and one of her favorite haunts is Nellie’s, a gay sports bar in D.C. The fact that it’s a gay bar is relevant for no reason other than it just makes everything better. We headed to Nellie’s with some friends and arrived around 5:30 for happy hour.

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Rachel, Lauren, and me before our sanity was lost. Can we take a moment to talk about my hair? Because seriously.

Well, happy hour quickly turned into happy 3.5 hours, and before we knew it, it was 9 pm. Lauren and I both have multiple tattoos, and for some reason, we started talking about getting tattoos. Now, Lauren has been my best friend for the past 8 years, and we have discussed this topic before. Every time I (hilariously, in my own mind) send her a link to some inane Buzzfeed post about the “Top 50 Matching BFF Tattoos,” she audibly groans across the internet and assures me that she will never get a matching tattoo with me because although she loves me, it’s tacky.

Guess who changed their mind around the time this picture was taken?

So somehow I got her to agree that this was a good idea. And by “I” I mean “the five beers she had already had.” Anyway, we started trying to figure out what we should get and where we should get it, and after a very long discussion that I don’t remember and you don’t care about, we decided to get Roman numerals on the side of our left wrists – 45 for her and 35 for me. Why? Well, 4535 College Avenue is the address of the sorority house where we met, and we always referred to the house as “45-35,” never “ADPi” or any variation thereof, for some reason. With the decision made, we looked up the nearest tattoo parlor – just 3 doors down! – and immediately abandoned our friends with promises to return and headed off. In our inebriated state, we determined that the Roman numerals for 45 were “IVV” and the numerals for 35 were “IIIV”.

Those are not the Roman numerals for either of those numbers.

New rule of thumb: If you’re too drunk to come up with the correct Roman numerals for any number under 100, you’re too drunk to drive. You’re welcome.

Mercifully, the very kind tattoo artist, for reasons I will never understand, took pity on us and told us she was pretty sure those numbers weren’t correct, so we then proceeded to consult a variety of internet sources to ensure that we got the right ones. For the record, it’s XLV for 45 and XXXV for 35. Wow, that was a close one. Geeeeeez, Danielle.

The actually tattoo process took all of about 3 minutes per person, not including all the set up and whatnot. It was completely painless and we were super impressed by how awesome they looked. The tattoo artist (Anna, from Australia, in case you were wondering) was extremely vigilant about making sure they were straight and didn’t look funny when we moved our arms. She was way more invested in the process than we were.  Note to everyone: please never get a tattoo like this. It could really have gone so wrong so quickly.

Ok, but they really do look so cute, amiright?

So, where does the Trick or T-Rex part come in? Well, as it so happens, AJ is not such a fan of tattoos. He tolerates mine because I had almost all of them before I met him, but he’d be perfectly happy if I never got another one and/or subsequently had all mine removed. I knew he would be displeased that I got a new one, so I decided to do the obvious thing.

I decided not to tell him and see how long it took him to notice.

My reasoning was as follows: he can’t very well hate something that is so small as to be unnoticeable. Therefore, if it takes him awhile to notice, it’s not worth getting upset over.

I figured it would take him 3 days at most.

People, we are currently on DAY 10 with no end in sight.

I mean, REALLY?

Any time we have been somewhere with any of his friends, I’ve texted them ahead of time and told them the situation to make sure they don’t inadvertently say something. I’ve also taken their bets, which mostly figured it would take him about a week. As it turns out, he’s even less observant than we thought. Meanwhile, it’s not like I’ve been hiding the thing. I wore a strapless dress to a wedding this weekend and roll my sleeves up when I’m at home. I wave my arms in front of his face, and nothing.

Not like it’s inconspicuous…

So here are my best guesses as to what is happening:

  1. AJ really is the least observant person on the planet.
  2. He has noticed and is ignoring it because he doesn’t want to acknowledge my brazen behavior.
  3. He has noticed but can’t remember me telling me about it and doesn’t want me to know he doesn’t remember because he figures I’ll get mad.

Either way, this is hilarious.

So if you know AJ in real life, don’t tell him. He almost never reads my blog (I guess living with me is enough Danielle-time for one person) so I’m pretty sure he won’t find out by reading this. And even if he does, I’m interested to hear his explanation.

God, I live to torment this poor man. He is a saint for putting up with me.

LEAVE A COMMENT: Have you ever played a trick on your significant other? 

32 thoughts on “Trick or T-Rex

  1. Way back when my husband and I were just dating, I had to go to Texas for Officer Basic Course for 4 months. I was stationed at Walter Reed afterwards which is about an hour’s drive from where he lived. While I was driving back, I asked his brother who was living with him if he could make himself scarce for a night when I came up. I told my husband I wasn’t going to make it their until a day later. I arrived and made this nice dinner and put a present on his bed. I hid in his brother’s room until he noticed it. It took him almost a half an hour. I got scolded for lying to him. 🙂 So much for romantic surprises.

    1. Hahahahaha womp womp, not such a good ending to that story. I love surprises so I would have liked that, but not everyone does I guess!

  2. I think it’s fantastic he hasn’t said anything yet. I hope you will tell us when he finally does fess up. Hilaaarious.

  3. I have on three occasions brought a new ( thrifted/ found) piece if furniture into the house and claimed that I had no idea how it got here, that someone must have broken in an left it or that it was here all along. We are talking tables chairs here, not small pieces. I currently have a shelf lying in wait in the car. I’m bringing it in Thursday when he’s gone. P once brought home a second cat, ( left it in the locked house) that looked just like our first cat and did not tell me. I called him to tell him i got home and that the cat cloned.

  4. Lol!
    Men generally are not very observant or sometimes don’t think it’s important to mention their observations.
    That said, I was asked the other day if I had a new haircut (by a girl!).
    Actually, I didn’t, I changed the color from red to blonde. 😀

  5. OK, while during our >25 years together and nearly 22 years of marriage there have been many times we have surprised each other in little ways … they are always about doing something positive for the other person.

    I am always very wary of ‘tests’, because they NEVER go well. They are NEVER a good idea, because they are based on a dishonest premise … which is the antithesis of what you should be doing in any relationship.

    Right now you have done something permanent to your body you know AJ is not really in favor of in general*, and you have turned it into a game … if he thinks he sees something new but is unsure about it, perhaps it is creating internal tension, but he assumes you would be honest and forthright (since you’re not quiet) and actually just tell him … so then he wonders if he didn’t listen or you didn’t tell. One side is shameful for him, the other makes him wonder WHY.

    Again, nothing positive about the ‘hilarious’ situation. These are ‘games’ … the ones you constantly hear people saying ‘I hate games in relationships’ .. and yet, this.

    * and since I am not a fan of tattoos in general I get that – it is your body, do what you want, just don’t expect me to have any positive thoughts.

      1. You do have a valid point, I’m just choosing to reject it because if it’s right then I’ll feel bad 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to share your opinion, as always!

  6. My husband NEVER notices when I cut or highlight my hair. And its often quite dramatic (like 6 inches cut off, or dark brown to blond). I can easily see how AJ wouldn’t notice – too funny!!

    1. AJ is a little obsessed with my hair, so I think that actually is the one thing he might notice. Every time I say I’m going to get a hair cut (where I literally cut one inch off my hair, no more) he has a panic attack.

  7. FWIW – I am also an ADPi – our chapter just celebrated its 100 year anniversary LAST WEEKEND. Dang. I was there with my BFF and we were talking tatts and what were we possibly thinking, how could we have so screwed up the opportunity of a lifetime. Dammit.

    1. Woo hoo!!! Congratulations on your chapter’s 100th! That’s so exciting. You should get commemorative tattoos 🙂

  8. That is awesome! I’d totally do the same thing. I do it all the time really, “oh yes, this is a new dress. I got it 6mo ago and wore it out with you twice already.”
    The tattoo surprise: genius.

    1. I never thought about it, but I guess there are lots of possibilities for ways to do things like this. I’ll have to exploit this weakness further!

      1. Very easy to do. Espeically on things like hair chanegs. Then, when they realize they fuck up, you totally have the upper hand. Works nicely. I figure, it’s the small things. They get so much, and we put up with so much. I like to have my fun at his expense.

  9. A trick.. err, perhaps. My then boyfriend was being sassy so I thought I’d just show him. I took a subscription form from “Out” magazine when I was at a gay friends house & sent a subscription to my bfriend. He never even told me he was getting the subscription. Then, when they sent the notice he could get it “unwrapped” .. as in clear plastic and no paper covering, I of course filled that info out & sent it in. Ha! By then he knew it was me. Very satisfying 🙂

  10. This post totally made my day. I’d also like to know about your other tattoos… I don’t have any but have considered a running one… AND I’m pretty sure we’d be best friends if we lived near one another (saying that in the least creepy way possible)!

    1. Not to worry, we can be best friends across the internet! I do have one running tattoo. I’ll have to take a picture and upload it sometime. It’s the winged foot of Mercury, the messenger god (fancy way of saying it’s that flying shoe symbol that lots of cross country teams use) and it says 26.2 under it. There’s a star at the end of the wing that symbolizes my first marathon. My plan was to get a star for every marathon I ran, but that escalated quickly, so I decided I didn’t want a row of stars up my thigh and stuck with the one.

  11. Oh. My. Gawd. You just had to talk about tattoos. I currently have 3. I also have 5 piercings in the cartilage of my right ear in a very original pattern; according to my piercer. Never told my husband I was doing it, just went and did it. Knew he absolutely despised tattoos from Day 1. June 16, 1994. Helluva long ass time ago. He even told me later if I’d had a tattoo he would’ve never married me. SO giggling. I had always wanted one, but never fell in love with anything enough to do it.
    Then, I found #1. A tiny filled-in heart on the inside of my wedding ring finger. Dangerous because skin is constantly regenerating on palm side they told me. wouldnt last they told me. Had it done 1 1/2 yrs ago and it was only supposed to last 30-60 days.
    Shoot, sorry, off track, husband was SO angry he wouldn’t speak to me for 2 days. So what. If me getting this tattoo ruins our marriage we have way bigger problems, right? Pierced my cartilage next. He didnt care. Another image blew me away so my next tattoo was put behind my left ear. Surprise! My pain tolerance is super freakin high because the piercing should’ve almost “killed” me 5x over and supposedly this 2nd piercing too. Nope. Husband was even angrier though.
    My thing is he’s made his feeling on the subject quite clear, but it’s my body and up until now I can cover everything up if necessary for our many corporate events we attend. And it’s my body and each one has deep significant meaning to me that I haven’t gone into…I’m at book length already. Sorry I’m not sorry.
    My last one to date was a doozy! It’s about 2.5″ x 2.5″ and is one of the prettiest ‘flowers’ I’ve found (above right ankle). The artists rendition of the image I gave him is breathtaking! Never seen hUsband so angry, at me. Knew he would calm down because he always does. I’m 47 yrs old and refuse to ask permission from a man/husband to decorate (my view on what I’m doing with my tattoos) my body how I see fit. He can like it or lump it. We’re married, but I’m still very much an independent woman and that is something he has always loved about me. Many of his friends wives are incapable of being alone, doing things on their own, making decisions, traveling alone with children or without anyone period, etc. So, he needs to take everything that comes with an independent woman.
    I do not think I answered your question and I completely veered from how I began my book. But, my dear sweet one, thems de breaks! Thanks so much if you actually made it this far!

    1. I feel exactly the same way. I had tattoos before I met him and I’m very independent. Especially since we are not married or even engaged, I’m not really interested in being told what I can and cannot do with my own body. That being said, I do try to take his opinions into SOME consideration, which is why I don’t have even more/bigger tattoos than I already have.

      1. My whole thing with that – and with what Cassie said – is honesty and respect for each other. It IS your body and you SHOULD be independent and do what you want so long as it is not harmful. And you should make that clear to your significant other – but BEFORE you do stuff.

        It isn’t asking for permission – heck, we’re all adults here and unless it will put you in a financial bind it doesn’t need to be a joint decision – it is showing respect for the relationship and engaging in open dialogue and communications.

        I mentioned I’m no fan of tattoos … not big into piercings either. When my wife was getting her belly button pierced, it wasn’t about permission, it was just letting me know. She showed me the place she and her friends were going, they took pictures, and we had a bunch of laughs about it (she has a medical background and checked the autoclave records).

        She got an awesome henna tattoo of a seahorse from an artist in Provincetown (on Cape Cod), and said she could see herself getting a real one at some point. She knows I don’t like tattoos (don’t even get the fake ones) … but she also knows that I am all about supporting her – she wants one I will be there to hold her hand and have a drink afterwards. Doesn’t make me more of a fan, but it means it is part of our relationship and our life. Sharing these things – even when they’re not what we like – builds on that.

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