T-Rex Rantz – Volume 3

Would you believe I actually keep a list on my phone of things that irk me? I guess that’s not terribly surprising, since the world is full of things that are stupid and therefore annoying. T-Rex Mom used to laugh at me when I was a kid because I am easily annoyed by many things, particularly the inane actions of other people. I like to think I am not so easily annoyed now, and I think the fact that I haven’t posted an edition of T-Rex Rantz in quite awhile is proof of that. While laying in bed the other night, I started thinking about Kim Kardashian and just got really irritated, for obvious reasons. It got me on a train of thinking about other things that make me crazy, which then turned into me asking AJ what things annoy me. He named a reallllly long list of things, so maybe I’m not as patient as I like to believe. Without further adieu, here’s a list of shit that I currently cannot deal with.

1. Celebrity Nicknames

Originally, I was just going to write about celebrity couple nicknames, like “Kimye” (Kim Kardashian and Kanye West), Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) and “Bennifer” (remember when Ben Affleck was engaged to Jennifer Lopez? I KNOW.), but then I realized that all celebrity nicknames are pretty much annoying. Jennifer Lopez started this trend with the ubiquitous JLo, and although that sounded ridiculous at the time, at least she was the only one, so whatever. Now it seems like every “it” celebrity has to have a nickname – we’ve got LiLo, KStew, and now JLaw. And this is where they have gone too far. I officially now have to take a stand, because Jennifer Lawrence is AWESOME.

She fell at the Oscars and it was somehow the most endearing thing ever
She fell at the Oscars and it was somehow the most endearing thing ever

She deserves to have her full name used, dammit. She is not in the same category as the JLo’s and LiLo’s of the world. First of all, she is hilarious. Second, she loves food and talking about how much she loves food. Third, she can actually act. She even won an Oscar because she can act. So please, media people, stop the madness. Give people back their names. I promise we can still follow along with your stories even if you use the bigger words. For the record, yes, I realize that I obviously could just stop reading mountains of celebrity gossip, but then how would I know what is going on? How will I know what Tia and Tamera’s (remember Sister Sister? I DIE) tips for bouncing back after baby are? I would not.

Yeah. They have kids now. It depresses me too.
Yeah. They have kids now. It depresses me too.

2. “Fitspiration,” aka inspirational fitness quotes and pictures

Flame away if you want. I’m ready for it. But seriously, if I see one more scenic picture of a runner and some inspirational quote typed over the top of it, I am going to lose my mind. I’m not actually 100% sure why I hate these things. I can’t tell if it’s because I like too many running pages on facebook (and am friends with too many runners) and therefore it seems like my newsfeed is constantly flooded with them, or if it’s because I don’t like inspiration, or if it’s because I have no soul. It may very well be a mixture of all three. Maybe it’s because it is pretty much never a normal looking person in the pictures that is out there running and looking like they totally hate it, because let’s be honest – for your average runner, during pretty much every run, there is some point that comes where it just sucks. It hurts, you’re tired, you can’t breathe, you’re hot, whatever – you just don’t want to do it anymore. Does that mean you stop? No, so how about we start typing some quotes over pictures of those people instead of super hot fitness models? I obviously am not volunteering myself for this even though I have an excellent patented hate look while running. If anything, seeing pictures of really fit people literally freaking frolicking up a mountainous trail with a 12% grade just makes me feel like there’s no point in even bothering to run. NO ONE FROLICKS UP MOUNTAINS. STOP YOUR LIES. Side note: My rage extends to all fitness pictures, not just those pertaining to running, but I’m not exposed to those unless I go on Pinterest, so it’s not as hate-inducing.

Is "choose not to be annoyed" an option?
Is “choose not to be annoyed” an option?

3. The Match.com marathon commercial

Admittedly, I’ve watched a lot of television while recovering from surgery. As such, I have seen a lot of commercials, but only one really makes me insane. You know the Match.com commercial where the woman is a marathoner and she goes on a first date with the guy and he’s like “Anyone can run 26, it’s the last 0.2…” and she finishes with “that really kills you!”

No. OMG, no.

I refuse to believe that this is an actual date, because we (marathon runners) have all heard that joke like…4000 times. Per day. Since we started running marathons. And it’s not getting funnier, so we’re not still laughing at it – at least not genuinely. Maybe she is just being nice and wanting him to not feel awkward, but I prefer to believe it’s a conspiracy and she is not a real person. Either way, it makes me cringe. Also, I’m not sure what she is doing with her life, but it is totally possible to meet people while running marathons and working and doing other things normal people do. Just ask AJ. He is basically beside himself with joy that I found the time to meet him.

AJ, ever the enthusiast.
AJ, ever the enthusiast.

4. My dog simultaneously hating AND being afraid of every other animal on the earth

I love my dog. It is a universal fact that he is the cutest dog on the planet. Anyone who has ever met him, whether they like dogs or not, has agreed with this statement. He once met a friend of mine who had been terrified of dogs his entire life, and within ten minutes, my dog (a Rottweiler, no less) had completely won him over. As adorable as he is, my dog is a total asshole. I rescued him when he was 4, and after behaving totally normally for 2 years and getting along with my other dogs (who now live with my ex), he attacked one out of nowhere. To make a long story short, he’s gotten worse since then, and now he can’t be around any other dogs or animals. Sometimes he doesn’t seem to notice them, other times he’s afraid of them, and the rest of the time he acts like he’s going to rip out their throats. And honestly? I’m over it. He’s a great dog with people, never destroys anything in the house, super cuddly, all of that – just not good with other animals. For a long time, I told myself it wasn’t worth dealing with because he is getting old – he’s 8 now – and he doesn’t have to be around other dogs if I don’t want him to be. But it sucks not being able to take him hiking for fear that we might see another dog on the trail. We can’t bring him to bonfires and outside parties where other dogs will be. We can’t get another dog because he’ll eat it. I’m thinking about getting a dog trainer to work with him intensely, but I’m worried I’ll never trust him around other dogs. Sigh. It just really bothers me that a dog can be so perfect in basically every way except this realllllllyyyy big one, and he’s not exactly helping out the public perception of Rottweilers. Oy vey.

He doesn't look like a vicious killer, right?
He doesn’t look like a vicious killer, right?

5. The word “brilliant”

I realize this is absurdly specific, but I am so over the word “brilliant.” It is entirely overused, especially in reference to music, and I can’t take it anymore. Think of your Facebook newsfeed right now. I am 95% sure that you have a person, probably just an acquaintance, who thinks everything they are into is “absolutely brilliant.” That obscure soft-core metal band’s latest song? Brilliant. Random indie film that no one saw except this particular person? Absolutely brilliant, and a crime against humanity that it isn’t released to the public, but drivel like Gigli makes it to the big screen. This person probably has strongly held political views and would describe their party of choice as…you guessed it…brilliant. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have strong opinions or that they shouldn’t like obscure things. I personally like to believe I am a hipster in my own mind (my friend Lauren just fell over and died at that sentence). However, I  do think we need a new word to describe things that are original. That is all.

Let's all work together to expand our vocabulary, k?
Let’s all work together to expand our vocabulary, k?

Leave a comment: What are you ranting about right now? Or, if you once had a dog that hated other animals  that now loves other animals, please leave me an encouraging story.

51 thoughts on “T-Rex Rantz – Volume 3

  1. Sorry But I think Frankie is the cutest dog you’ve ever had. I don’t keep a list of things that annoy me I just text my friends lol. sometimes they agree other times they are like whatcha sayin’ girl?

  2. One major thing that is irritating me right now is the McDonald’s commercial for Fish McBites (I think). The stupid fishy- fishy song makes me want to punch my tv every time I hear it.
    On a side note, I got my T-Rex Runner shirt today and I LOVE it! (Even though it isn’t green, kidding.) Thank you! Also, I think you have the best penmenship known man. You really made me realize how pitiful my handwriting is.

    1. Um, those fish bites thing really give me the creeps. The fish sandwich was bad enough, but now bite size fried fish? Not ok.

      I’m so glad you love it!! Sorry I’m not sorry it isn’t green. I do get a lot of compliments on my handwriting, so thank you. Just think of it as one more way I am making the world a better place.

  3. This post? Brilliant. Whoops. Crap. Sorry.
    P.S. I hate the JLaw thing because for 2 weeks I thought everyone was referring to Jude Law. I get confused sometimes. BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME?? This celebrity name sh*t is hard to follow.

  4. I think your dog is a adorable! And i understand the frustration of not being able to socialize him with other dogs.
    The McDonalds fish bites commercials are very annoying, not to mention the thought of eating them nauseating. Co-workers/ people telling me I’m crazy for running. I don’t bring up the topic anymore, however I get perverse joy when my coworkers complain about their weight/health and shove another cheeseburger in their mouth.

    1. Second person to mention the fish bites commercials! I need to branch out my rage, apparently.

      I hate people telling me that I’m destroying my knees from all the running I do. My knees are pretty much the only part of my body functioning at this point – running is the least of my problems!

  5. My current rant is people posting pics of their sick kids on FB. We already get all the details of the fever, vomit, etc, do we really need pics of the poor sick kid? Can you imagine what is going through the kid’s head? Why is my Mom taking a picture of me when I feel like ASS?!?! I’d much rather have an inspirational running pic!

    1. That’s a good rant. I don’t have too many friends that do that, but I would be totally annoyed too. And yeah, I can’t deal with all the details…I really don’t need to know the colors of your kid’s poop!

      1. Funny thing is the hotel I am in now ONLY has Trix yogurt (I had to go buy some real stuff, fortunately the rooms have a fridge). And I can’t look at Trix yogurt without thinking of when it was really popular about 10 years ago and we got it for our kids and you wouldn’t believe what it did color-wise to their poop … oops … you just said you didn’t want to know. Sorry … not sorry 🙂

        I don’t watch much TV, but the TV was on in the exercise room last night and I saw TWO McDonald’s ‘I’m Loving It’ commercials, which reminded me I didn’t like them then, and like them less a decade later.

        I hate our obsession with celebrities … and it is due to that 90% of the room at the Grammy Awards was judging SOME ‘reality’ talent show, and why EVERYTHING is a reality show now, with people acting like morons (or not) just to soak up their 15 minutes.

        And I hate the fact that some people who never left middle school think it is an amusing past time to try to edge runners off the road with their pickup trucks or SUVs.

  6. I think your dog is adorable! And I know the frustration of not being able to socialize him with other dogs!
    The McDonald’s fish bite commercial is very annoying, and the thought of eating that is nauseating!
    People/coworkers telling me that I am crazy for running. What makes me shake my head in disgust is hearing my coworkers complain about their weight and food intake. I’m crazy for doing something that helps my mental and physical health, but McDonald’s for lunch is perfectly acceptable? Ok, sure!

  7. While I’m at it …

    I hate that Christmas decorations go up in September, and the ‘war on Christmas’ brigade has emboldened people working in places like Walmart to be pushy d-bags telling you ‘merry christmas’ when you are buying lettuce and milk the Saturday after Thanksgiving!

    The people on Facebook (they graduated from mass-emails) who will repost every inane hoax without the slightest bit of checking.

    1. Oooh so many good rantz, so little time. I never was allowed to eat the Trix yogurt when I was a kid because my mom said it was overpriced and I could just eat regular yogurt, but now I’m kind of glad about that I think.

      Admittedly, I am a little obsessed with celebrities. There are certain things I am not obsessed with though, such as how quickly they get their bodies back after having kids, or why they re-wore a certain dress to an awards show, or whatever. I want to know the juicy stuff, like their past or present drug addictions.

      Yup. All those talent shows can go to hell and stay there.

      T-Rex Mom is a poster of inane hoaxes. We’ve had multiple discussions about it.

  8. OMG! I absolutely HATE the match.com marathon commercial. It makes me cringe. I don’t even run marathons. (I am a runner though, and I do triathlons so maybe someday I will do a marathon.) I had the thought that maybe the girl in the commercial is just trying to be nice to the guy to avoid awkwardness because I need a back story for the commercial. Haha. Anyway, I think if this actually happened to me on a first date, I would just get uprain and end the date immediately.

    1. Exactly! And I feel like I’m the worst person in the world because I feel the exact same way! If I was that girl, I would never ever go on another date with that guy.

  9. I am sick of instagram. Yes, it can make some things look kind of “artsy” (whatever that means) when used well by people who know what they’re doing, but seriously everyone. You have an x-hundred dollar iPhone/iPad/Digital camera that was made last year with the capability to take photos of better quality than National Geographic from the 90’s, and then you reduce the quality? What?? I think deep down I just don’t like hipsters in general, but when they fill my Facebook news-feed with their bull-crap instagram photos it irks me. No, I don’t want to see your sandwich. I can’t even eat that; I’m a Celiac. Grbrbrbrbrbrbr

    On a lighter note I love your dog and his cape.

    1. 100% with you. I can’t stand instagram. Every once in awhile I’ll see a cool looking photo with it, but I really don’t care what you eat for every meal. Does ANYONE?

      He gets cold at night. I try to keep him comfortable.

      1. Considering I am old enough to have owned instamatics, Polaroids and Disc cameras back in the 70s and 80s … we have boxes full of crappy pictures in the closet that look even worse digitized. Kinda like a rotary phone … um, no thanks!

  10. I’m part of the “I hate the McDonalds Fish McBites or whatever they are” bandwagon. I live in the Pacific Northwest where they supposedly catch the fish they use to make them. They advertise them HEAVILY here and go as far to say they are “fresh” because they are caught in our own waters. Fresh…yeah, right. I hear the commercial way too many times a day.

    Also, my dog is the EXACT same way. Perfect in every way imaginable except when it comes to other dogs. I would love to take him to the dog park, but right now thats not even close to being a possibility. When I take him on a walk, if a dog is out in its yard, we can’t walk past that yard because he will flip out and try to drag me over to it, which is scary because he is wayyyyy stronger than me and I don’t want him attacking a dog that is in its own yard. If someone is walking their dog and they are walking towards us, we have to immediately turn around before my dog even gets a chance to growl. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks he’s “protecting” me and its his “duty” to keep other dogs away from me? One time a raccoon ran up behind us and I swear I almost lost my dog that day…He wanted to very much chase after it and I only have so much upper body strength. I have never held onto something so tightly and I was completely exhausted when I finally got us both home in one piece.

    1. HAHAHA fresh anything from McDonald’s…that’s hilarious. You know they catch them in the Northwest and then promptly send them to like Kansas or something to be processed and then sent back.

      Isn’t it so frustrating??? I can’t walk my dog for another month because of the surgery, so AJ does it, but I’m terrified to take him for real walks anyway. A couple of years ago he chased after some invisible animal and pulled me down so hard he cracked two ribs. In my neighborhood, there’s quite a few dogs that run loose, so I’m constantly looking out for them and terrified they’ll come out of nowhere trying to “play” with my dog. Before I got him, I took my old dogs to the dog park all the time and I loved it, but I can’t imagine that now. It would be a bloodbath! I feel like people judge me for it but I really don’t know what to do.

  11. I’m so with you on all of those, especially the inspirational quotes one. More than the word brilliant, I have an almost vicious hate for those who shorten it to “brill!”. Like they can’t even be bothered saying the entire stupid word! Ugh.

  12. wow, love all the rants-my continual one is the way people drive! We have people on the highway with a posted speed limit of 65 and they are doing 55! or the light changes and they are so busy TEXTING, they don’t even notice-or DRIVING and texting-in the fast lane, doing 35..my daughter is afraid to drive on the highway due to all my rants! LOL
    The hoax thing bugs me too-I comment using snopes. one person was like “oh, I knew you would check it” and I was like “why post it in the first place?” it’s like freakin’ junk mail! ..I think the knee thing is annoying too-old info, people! and a lot of people don’t run because they think they are the only one who has trouble or hates that first mile! got my dander up and am going to run, grimacing while doing so.

    1. Haha! I love that they “knew you would check it” using snopes and they couldn’t be bothered to check it themselves. It’s like they’d rather look stupid later.

      I grew up driving in pretty busy metropolitan areas and used to do a really long commute around DC, so I have pretty intense road rage. People here drive SO slowly and it’s taken me a really long time to get used to. I’m less ragey now than I used to be, but if you’re driving under the speed limit, watch out!

  13. I’m sick of people posting Facebook updates that insinuate they are doing you a favor or expanding your knowledge by posting them, when they are actually just stupid and no one cares. Case in point: The people who constantly post, “Today is National… blah blah… Day. Here is a 600 word explanation of the day and its origin. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!” Ugh, go play in traffic.

    I will admit, though, I’m a total sucker for fitspiration pictures!!

    1. Oh those are the worst! I will add the facebook pictures about “People with XYZ don’t want pity, they want to be understood…blah blah blah, 99% of you won’t repost this, let’s see who does.” You know why I won’t repost it? BECAUSE IT IS STUPID.

  14. Uh, #2, yes. I had to unfollow several “running bloggers” because I just couldn’t deal with all of those inspirational thingies. Hey, I need motivation as much as the next person, but come ON. I feel like some people are always out to prove to the world just how dedicated they are to whatever activity it is that they are into, just for their own personal validation. I have no problem with people being into running, or cooking, or stabbing oneself in the eye. What I have a problem with is constantly having that person’s obsession in my face. Especially the eye one, that’s just gross.

    1. I’m in the same boat. I hide those people from my newsfeed because I can’t deal with it. I feel the same about people who are incessantly pinning pictures and workouts to pinterest. Like I’m sorry, but you do not need 200 workouts on your pinterest board. You’re clearly spending more time pinning than you are working out. I guess like you said, some people just really like to look the part.

      Eew, the eye thing would be totally gross.

  15. This is a bit of an extension of your hatred of all “inspirational running quotes” but I have a friend or two who “share” every single thing they look at, so in addition to the inspirational running quotes, they are “sharing” bible quotes along with the aforementioned annoying pictures, they are “sharing” links to running events that they definitely are not doing, and literally every freaking thing in their feed is now cluttering my feed. And I hates it. I hates it.

    1. You must learn to hide these people from your newsfeed. I have hidden many people and specifically hidden people from sharing their photos, since everyone has some of those people on facebook. It makes me insane! This is one area in which the newsfeed definitely fails.

  16. Oh I love your #2. I think I may too many running pages on my facebook too. That might be the culprit! Personally I’m all right with brillant, but totally over ‘journey’, EVERYONE is on a “journey” of some sort.

      1. Except when you don’t stop….beliiieeevvvvin…..hold onto that feeeeelllaaaaiiiiaaannnnnn (whatever, that’s what it sounds like in my head.)

  17. He doesn’t look like a vicious killer, right?
    Actually, it looks like he has a full body bib and he’s ready to devour any one in front of him.

  18. I’m hating on lame people lately. Everyone who puts their hand out for a donation for their Kidney Foundation Walk or their Jump Rope for Heart or their coupon books for local public schools or whatever, I give ’em $10 or $20. My kids are running 100 miles this year to raise money to fight human trafficking in Africa, and 99% of my friends basically act like they can’t see the Facebook posts about it. (And trust me when I tell you that I do NOT go over the top with it.) Even when I say, “Hey, we’ll gladly take $5, because all of those $5 add up,” crickets.

    And the people who turn every Facebook status I post into some political statement. I reposted this as my status one day: “After primary needs are met, we do not need money to be happy; we need God, loving friends, and passion for a project.” And one of my ‘friends’ (sigh) felt the need to turn it into how Obama is ruining this country and he’s a terrorist and blah blah blah blah and our money isn’t going to be worth anything anyway after the country goes completely down the tubes. It’s like, ugh, shut UP! Everything isn’t about Obama, everything isn’t about the Republicans, everything isn’t about the Democrats. I feel sorry for these people walking around with this huge political chip on their shoulder all the time; what a sad existence.

    1. I’m 100% with you on both of these, especially the political one. It seems like everything is so political lately and people are so divided. Especially down here – everything is “The Liberals did this” and “I can’t believe Obama did xyz”. It’s like no one can see two sides to the story anymore. Maybe I was just naive growing up, but I don’t remember it ever being this bad.

  19. Oh, and the people who throw proper English out the window when it comes to Facebook or email. I don’t expect perfect MLA format or anything, but a period or a comma or a capital letter from time to time would be nice. My brain reads sentences without punctuation as they are written, and it hurts.

    One member of our local track club ends EVERY sentence with multiple exclamation points. I’m a high-energy, excitable, enthusiastic person, but every!!!! sentence!!!!!! doesn’t need to!!!!!! end like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Amen to the hopeful end of “fitsparation”!!!!
    My rant to share is people hating on cyclists. Shouldn’t they say, “hey, you commute to work on your bike and help off-set the emissions from the gargantuan SUV that I’m the only one riding in, so .. thanks” instead of, I dunno, telling me about every cyclist who ever was in their way enough to make them take 5 more seconds at an intersection?! Don’t hate the commuter, hate the game. (The game being the lack of infrastructor to support cycling!)
    /cyclerant 🙂

    1. That’s a good one! Down here there is essentially no community of commuting cyclists, but there are groups that cycle for fitness. I think because of how rare it is to see cyclists on the roads (and there are virtually no bike lanes), people get really irate about them. One of the most common things I hear is “why can’t they just ride on the sidewalks?” Um…because it’s illegal? No one seems to know that.

  21. That Match.com commercial drives me insaaaaane and I haven’t even run a marathon yet. I’m like “HAHAHA THAT JOKE WAS ONLY FUNNY THE FIRST 10,000 TIMES.” They probably thought they were so clever when they made it too.

    I also wish I could hate Jennifer Lawrence because she is so pretty and funny and such a great actress, and I am jealous, but alas, I cannot. She just is way too great at laughing at herself.

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