I am the 99%, thanks to my superior intellect.

I am the 99%, but not in the way that’s become so popular to talk about these days. I’m the 99%, RDub style – the nickname I’ll give one of my favorite coworkers.

Before I explain, let me go on the record as saying I used to think I was really, really conservative. Like, Bill O’Reilly conservative.

Then I moved to South Carolina. Turns out, I’m more like John McCain conservative. At best.

Anyway, RDub isn’t exactly in love with the Occupy movement, and his daily facebook musings reflect that. So imagine my surprise this morning when I walked into his office and he said “Danielle, I AM the 99%.”

What? Do my ears deceive me? Surely RDub is not joining forces with the Occupiers.

RDub doesn't Occupy. He certainly doesn't yoga.

He then informed me that what he meant, of course, is that he is the 99% because that was his percentage on all the standardized tests he took growing up. I never thought about it that way, so I guess I am the 99% too! FINALLY I feel a part of the movement. Even if it’s a different movement. You know, one that we made up and then hijacked their slogan for.

I did happen to drive by the Occupy Columbia protest this morning and note that they are on Day 14. To be honest, I’m kind of impressed.

Yeah, that's my state's Confederate flag, flying high in front of the state house while a small child occupies Columbia. Don't blame me, I'm from Florida.

I’m unclear as to why this child is not wearing shoes.

Anyway, today was really random. I found a hard hat and a construction vest at work and decided to wear them all day. For strategic construction purposes.

As it turns out, hard hats are adjustable, so it was not necessary for mine to sit jauntily on my head the whole day. But I think it enhances the look.

I went to Hooters with RDub and Oscar for lunch. It’s kind of expensive, but our waitress really did have huge boobs. You get what you pay for, I guess. My back hurt on her behalf.

I had a paper due at midnight tonight for school, so I started working on that as soon as I got home. I had a little help from my friend Bud. Senor Bud Light, to be exact.

The ironic part is it never even occurred to me to do this in college.

If there was any doubt I was the 99% before, I think we can both agree that doubt has been erased.

One thought on “I am the 99%, thanks to my superior intellect.

  1. Glad I could be an inspiration on the 99 percent.

    Somewhat disappointed you hadn’t learned of the joys of writing beer-assisted papers before now.

    Greater disappointment that it was Bud Light. But we can work on that.

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